I messed up on not talking to Rex. I texted him yesterday, I just couldn't help myself. I was reading and a word came along in the book that was sort of an inside joke so I sent it to him. Then he responded... with three smiles . The only reason I would do that was if I really was excited. I just don't want to read too much into this. But it's so easy when left to my own mind.
I'm wondering if i have some mental walls that I've built up. I seem to day dream a lot. I wonder if it's a defense mechanism of mine. Is it so wrong that I don't want to be married to someone that makes me defensive in my own mind. I might as well be trapped and I'm planning my escape. Wish me luck.
Sometimes I don't talk to people so i don't miss them as much. I have a friend in the hospital and I can't tell her that i want to visit her, because i don't want to be disappointed when i can't go. But i'll see her soon enough.
-Band of Horses
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